Snow
by Shanowa
Summary: Dialogue. Obi-Wan's fascinated by the snow on Coruscant. Anakin and Obi-Wan discuss some aspects of the code and Obi-Wan contemplates his past. Anakin explains his point of view.


**Disclaimer: Look at my other stories, i don't own anything here as well.**

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**Snow**

His Master stood, hands behind his back, in a military stand that now came so natural to them, face drawn to a frozen panorama window, a small smile playing around his lips and lifting the stoic seriousness that the auburn whiskers on his cheeks indicated and a in this times rare twinkle in his stormy, so changeable eyes. The usually prominent dark shadows under his orbs which emanated of the constant lack of sleep and a weariness that increased from battle to battle all but vanished beneath the slightly bemused, yet melancholic expression, the Master wore on his boyish features. He looked younger than he had in ages and much more vivid, but it could not conceal the underlying sadness lurking in the shadows of his mind, waiting just for a new catastrophe to break out and raise through the surface again.

Anakin approached him from behind, laying a calloused hand on his shoulder. Obi-Wan seemed a bit startled at the sudden contact. He must had been really deep in his thoughts to have missed Anakin closing in to him. Another seldom occurrence since the war had begun. It was a solace to the boy that the war had obviously not yet managed to destroy them all. There were always short moments of happiness and comfort found, of tranquillity and hope in between all the slaughter and the bloodshed. The just recently promoted knight wondered if his brother's mood actually had something to so with the fact that the city he was staring at so intensely, was covered by a subtle hint of white powder that shimmered gently in the pale glowing sun.

„You seem peaceful today. Happy. Not as weary as usual since this blasted war begun."

"It's snowing"

"Yes, I can see that. But what has that to do with you being happy? Not that I'd complain, I'm glad you're happy, but…"

"It's the snow, Anakin. It's snowing. It's the snow. It's silent. Peaceful. Comforting.

Chaotic, yet calm and unwaveringly reliable in it's fall. It forms pattern out of what seems to be coincidence. Like the force. And it's beautiful. Eternal."

"It's just snow Master."

"Yes, but it somehow calms me. I don't know why, but it holds a strange sense of- peace in it.

It's a silent peace. Silent and serene."

"I think I can make a guess where this comes from."

"Feel free to do that."

"There is pretty much snow on Stewjon, isn't it?"

"I- I think so, yes"

"You think so?"

"Actually…Yes - yes there is."

"Do you remember it?"

"The snow?"

"Stewjon"

"Just snippets, a brief flare-up of pictures, more emotions than real scenes. And even then I can never know if it's just something made up by my imagination. I can never know if it's real. Just snippets, feelings, nothing more"

"Tell me about it"

"I remember… I remember a lake, up in the mountains. Blue and fresh in the summers, always moving, never stilling completely, then frozen motionlessly and covered by a layer of ice in the winter, coruscating beams of the pale sun.

A field, green grass covered by white blanket in the cold months and a thick forest, glistening beneath the frost. Soft, pure snowflakes, falling down a sky that itself becomes white and infinite due to the mass of clouds. It's like isolation. Unbreakable walls between the galaxy and its conflicts and wars and problems and the future and me. I remember warmth. Well, probably not physical warmth, but warmth that elicits of comfort. And home."

"Do you miss your family? Your parents?"

"I don't remember them"

"That's not an answer. Do you miss them?"

"I miss Qui-Gon"

"…"

"…"

"Do you sometimes think of what could have been? How it would be if you were still on Stewjon? If the Jedi hadn't found you and never brought you here? Do you try to imagine a life you could have had? Do you ever think of what might have become out of your family? If they still miss you?"

"A Jedi does not dwell in the past, Anakin. Nor does he gamble with what-if-possibilities."

"But, do you Master? Do you try to remember?"

"Yes. Sometimes… But it doesn't matter anyway."

"But it does, Master. I think - It does matter."

"Why?"

"Because it's what a human is like. It defines us. A Human's compassion and love and all the danger that might or might not come with it."

"Even if that might be true, we are not entirely human, Anakin. Not anymore. We are Jedi. And we have decided to put this before our needs as human"

"I know master. But still- it doesn't change the fact that those words you spoke did sound like an excerpt of a sermon that you've got hammered in and learned by heart until you could repeat it even while sleeping."

"Are you calling me a hypocrite?"

"No. – No, I call you uncertain. Uncertain about the way you chose. You want to question the methods and teachings of the Jedi, but you suppress every criticism, every disobedience that might come up with such mantras. You've been taught that for your whole life, for it has been passed on from teacher to apprentice, from Master to Padawan for ages. I see that. It defines you as Jedi. It does not define you as human, though.

But I have also seen other ways, Master, other methods. Ways where love is supported, not denied. Where a lover is welcomed, not met with distrust and prejudice and punishment not for a crime, but for _feeling_.

I've learned not to take anything for granted. You have learned the same Master. But you have also been trained to keep a blind eye on what's wrong within your own walls. And you do just that, you all practise it every day."

"No, Anakin, I don't think you will find a Jedi who has not questioned our code at some point in their career. It's not, perfect, nothing is. But it's the best we can get, in my opinion. Like the republic. It has it's flaws, but it works. It works and that outweighs many of them. And a Jedi doesn't get punished for feeling, but for _acting on_ it. There is a difference between those two. And it's a significant one, believe me."

"Then why do we need such empty mantras to hold on to, Master?"

"They are not empty"

"No, you are right. They are not empty. But neither are they honest. We don't have to believe in them, to use them. They are not empty, and yet, they have become meaningless every so often when we mutter them. They have become a protection. A shield to hide behind."

"To hide? From what? What would you say?"

"From ourselves. They protect our inner, vulnerable and so, in our case, human cores from what we do. They hide ourselves, eliminate doubts and help us to suppress every emotion a living being is able to feels. The feeling of loosing control over ourselves. We are scared of ourselves."

"Why should we be scared of ourselves when so many others are not?"

"Who says they aren't? They might just not make a life style out of it. I think they are in some way, too."

"Then why have the Jedi of all things found the need to live on their mind, rather than the heart?"

"Because we, the Jedi are powerful. We have the force to aid us. Lead us, also but only when we listen to its will. And we fear what we might become when our emotions are unleashed. The fear of the dark side would be the best example, don't you think, Master?"

"That's you theory?"

"That's my theory, master."

"What would you expect from me, then, Anakin, regarding to your theory?"

"Nothing really. Just be a bit more human from time to time."

"Why?"

"Because I fear for you, Master. I fear for what this war will do for you when you reach the point when there is just too much suppressed to hold it in. Too much denying of what you are. I fear it will devour you from the inside."

"Anakin, this 'suppressing' of emotions as you so eloquently put it, is supposed to be releasing it into the force."

"Yes, Master, I know master. But still, there's only so much one can endure before he breaks. Regardless of the pretty words you wrap it in."

"Aha."

"I just don't want to loose you, Master."

"Well, I think you won't be able to stop that, Anakin. At some point, you will loose me. And every fighting for me will be in vain then. I guess I'm supposed to give you a lecture about letting go, am I not?"

"Master!"

"What? I just said, I'm supposed to, not that I'm planning to actually go through it _again_. But I'm curious. What makes you think, you'll loose me so soon?"

"Because you are wounded. Deeply. We all are. But not every one feels the need to carry the draining burden of the galaxy's well being on his no doubt, very strong shoulders and not everybody bears so many wounds and shows so many scars."

"I could say the same for you"

"Yes, but you do quite a brilliant job patching me up, again and again and mending my injuries. And this is another problem of yours, former master of mine. Would you just once take care of yourself as you would take care of every other, you wouldn't always end up as a mess."

"We've already had that discussion, if I recall this right. So please don't start _again_!"

"Hey, you stole my line. I'm the one who complains about lectures, remember?

And by the way, you have not achieved anything at all so far, that would save you this topic!"

"I'm not a mess."

"Okay, not right know. But sometimes, after battles, when you're claiming all the responsibility and guilt for every single victim of the war on you, I more often than not fear you will break sometimes under the burden you obligate yourself to carry to. I feel the war ripping you apart and I'm afraid the day will come when I will no longer be able to keep you together"

"Be careful, Anakin. There is a reason why attachments are forbidden."

"Look who's talking. Don't deny it any longer, master! Neither from me nor from yourself. You're just as bad as I am when it comes to forming attachments. I just give it another name. I call it love."

"Love and attachment are not necessarily the same"

"No, but still inseparable bonded with each other. Like two sides of a coin. Alright, this is a bad comparison. Regarding to the Holonet, _we_ are already claiming the 'two sides of a coin'. Anyway, love and attachment can still not exist without slowly descending into each other from time to time. You told me that once, master. Remember?"

"Quite well, yes. Blast, I really ought to be more careful in what I tell you. I have to keep in mind that you might be using it against me."

"Why, Master, I would never dare to talk back in such a manner."

"Oh, do shut up, Anakin."

"I'm not your Padawan anymore."

"Do still shut up, former Padawan, mine."

"Yes Master"

"…"

"Oh, for force's sake, Anakin, I think we've had an agreement."

"Agreement?"

"Yes, I was not to pity you for your experiences as a slave and you were not to pity me for not knowing my mother."

"I don't pity you"

"Well, a shame then that I can read you like an open book. You really need to work on masking your facial expressions sometimes. And that gaze you just daggered me with won't change that the slightest. So stop it, alright?"

"Yes, Master, and I really don't. Well, I give my best, anyway."

"Hmpf."

"…"

"…"

"Obi-Wan?"

"Yes, Anakin?"

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"For trusting me. It means a lot to me if you open up to me like that. I know you, you know, and I know you usually keep such things to yourself. Your trust in me gives memystrength and endurance, Master."

"I'm glad to hear that.

"It's just…"

"Just what?"

"Was there a hint of sentimentality in your voice? Like, really, long forgotten and deeply buried tears voiced out?"

"Anakin?"

"Yes, master?"

"Be quiet and bugger off"

"Wow, I'd never guessed you actually knew such kind of words."

"You'd be surprised. And by the way, I mean it. Bugger off. You are disturbing my snowy peace here. Leave me to my window, wallowing in sentimental misery and what? Suppressed pain while being happy and calm for the first time since what feels like ages?"

"Becoming a little grumpy, are we, Master? Please stop sulking, that's my job"

"I'm neither grumpy nor am I sulking, young former apprentice, mine."

"Sorry, I didn't know shuttering you mood would be so easy, master. I'll be more careful next time."

"My mood's not shuttered."

"Sounds very much like it, though."

"Anakin, there's something you must understand when living with Obi-Wan Kenobi.-"

"Plenty of things, actually"

"Hush and listen, Padawan"

"'m not your Padawan anymore"

"Anakin! Listen! This is a lesson that is crucial!"

"Sorry. So?"

"Well, keep in mind that it's simply impossible for you to shatter my mood on a day like this. It. Is. Snowing. On Coruscant. And therefore a rather rare occasion which is to be cherished at all costs and savoured when the chance appears."

"Alright, alright, I got it. I'll leave you to your snow."

"Great, Thank you."

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**This was just a silly idea I got when playing Doodle Jump.**

**I imagined that they'd have discussions sometimes rather than lectures. You might or might not notice that theire roles have partially interchanged here.**

**I know that Stewjon is considered as mostly grassland but I thought that there might also be areas where it's a bit different. It's only very little known of Stewjon so I thought I could invent some things.**

**Please review if you liked it:D Now it has got the introduction written for charliebrown1234 who had requested it xD I hope you like it:D**


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